My TEACHER
by cjalyssa
Summary: Do you want to read a story? Here, I found this old book on the attic, filled with dust, locked on a chest, left to be forgotten forever. The story was about a boy’s love to his sensei, and how it never had been and never will be. Do you want to read it?


**Disclaimer:** What? You expect me to own one of the best anime and manga there is? Puh-lease!

**Author's note:** Heh. Don't flame me. If you do… well, you did. So there!

**Summary: **Do you want to read a story? Here, I found this old book on the attic, filled with dust, locked on a chest, left to be forgotten forever. The story is about a boy's love to his sensei, and how it had never been, and never will be. Do you want to read it?

**Warnings: **Angst, Angst, Angst, Angst, and stupidity. And Shonen-ai, so read at your own risk.

**Pairings:** NaruKaka / KakaNaru

**Note:**Words on _Italics_ were Naruto's thoughts, just in case.

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**1****st**** MIRROR STORY:**

**-----NARUTO-----**

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**Title: My Teacher**

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**1****st**** Capitulo** (Birth Day)

Evrything has a beginning.

And like everything else, Life begins when one is born to the world.

Just like fate.

Just like love…

--

The moon was especially bright tonight. Clouds did not obscure the moonlight that brightens the otherwise dark night. Stars were scattered on the sky, forming constellations and being the perfect guide for all those who were lost. Cold breeze was blowing gently, making the branches on the trees to sway and the leaves to fall gently on the ground.

It should have been a perfect night.

But it wasn't.

A roar was distinctly heard, shattering the silence of the otherwise peaceful village. Most of the proud ninjas were valiantly trying to block the source of the roar to enter the village. Many of them were injured, and many were already dead; but they don't give a damn, all the grief and pain would be dealt later. They only have one goal, to make sure the fox demon, the infamous Kyuubi no Kitsune would cause no further damage. They may lose their life in the process, but for them, it was worth it. For their beloved village, it would be worth it.

And just like any other ninja, the Yondaime Hokage of Konohagukure, was ready to sacrifice his own life in insuring his village's safety. He had already made the necessary plans, the necessary preparations. And here he was, white coat billowing on the night wind, standing proudly on top of Gamabunta. The toad summon had fought bravely the demon. But both of them knew that the fox was too strong, too powerful to be simply defeated. That's why he made this decision. The hardest decision that he had ever made in his entire life.

"I hope you forgive me for this, son." Minato, the Yondaime, whispered at his son's ears.

The child, as if in understanding, gurgled softly. Almost assuring his father that, indeed, he will forgive him.

He gently kissed his son on the forehead, not noticing that a tear was already falling from his eye. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to burden his son into this. Because he knew that no matter how he pleaded to the Sandaime to make sure that his son will be treated as a hero, it would not happen. He was not stupid; he knew that humans are gullible and wrathful, easily blinded by anger and judgmental. But as foolish as it seems, he still hoped. He still hoped that his son would have a normal life, even if he was not by his side. Even if his wife, his son's mother, will not be there, he still hoped that his son will be strong enough to pull through the hardships of life.

"But you're my son, ne? I knew you could do it. I believe in you…" he murmured cradling the small fist that was thrust on his face. His tears were now continuously falling, blurring his vision.

Another deafening roar was heard, and he sighed. It was time. He pulled his son closer to his chest, inhaling his son's scent. "Goodbye, Naru. I love you, never ever forget that."

He carefully put the baby down, and patted the top of Gamabunta's head.

It was a signal that it was time, yet, at the same time, it was a goodbye.

The Yondaime readied himself, carefully making the seals. Before he made the last seal, he glanced at his son one last time. His baby was just laying there, staring at him, and looking ready to face his fate. Minato smiled slightly, He was an exact replica of him, that blond hair and blue eyes that shone with intelligence and determination that was surely a trait from him, and he couldn't be prouder than that.

A bright light suddenly engulf the whole forest, and the cry of "Sensei! Noooooo!!" was heard throughout.

Then the baby closed his eyes, crying. And even when a pair of arms was wrapped around him, he still cried.

He cried for the pain,

He cried for his dead father

And he cried for his fate.

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**2****nd**** Capitulo** (Festival)

There are three things that humans held dear. Life, Love, and Hope.

No matter what happens, humans held tightly to these three.

It doesn't matter if a person says that he had given up on life and love. Because somewhere, in a pitch dark place he called heart, a tiny place is reserved to hope.

To hope that something will happen to change his belief.

For him to be saved.

For him to live, love and hope again…

--

The air was festive.

Bright lights adorned the night, twinkling like the stars in the sky; it showed off the streets that were lined with stalls and booths, filled with people milling around dressed on their best kimonos and yukatas.

The citizens of Konoha were all there participating in the festivity, may it be a simple customer, vendors, mere bystanders, or the carefully concealed watchful shinobis who's intent were to ensure the safety of all on that night, just like the other nights that they watched the village.

Their auras were cheerful; smiles and nods were thrown at everyone within their path, whether it were a familiar face or a complete stranger. Laughter was ringing everywhere; drunken shouts and slurs filled the air, showing off their boisterous moods.

They were all happy. And it showed. It could never be denied.

But throughout it all, it seems one of the citizens was left forgotten. He lay there, on a futon and wrapped in a thin blanket that neither warmed nor comfort him, all alone. Locked on a small, dingy apartment. Just like what he had been doing for the past 6 years on this particular night.

He had never been on one of this festival. A festival that was a commemoration of the heroic act of the deceased Yondaime and the celebration for the defeat of the Kyuubi, a demon who attacked 6 years ago, that oddly enough, happened on the day that he had been born. October 10.

For some reason, Ojii-san, the Sandaime Hokage, always told him to stay at his apartment on this date. To stay and make sure that his doors are locked and windows tightly shut. He was ordered to never open his door even if someone knocked, even if the knocking claimed to be an emergency. It should never be open at all cost, until later the next day. He had asked why, but the old man just looked at him with _**that**_ face. A face that holds _**that**_ smile. A smile that he had never liked ever since he had seen it a few years ago. Because despite his young age he could already understand what that smile means; it was a smile that hid many secret things, a secret that he knew concerned him. Deeply.

He wanted to go out there to see the bright lights up close. To see, if they are more beautiful if you were standing near it, instead of watching on a cracked grimy window. He wanted to go visit the colored and decorated stalls, to play on the booths, to mingle with the people. To celebrate, to laugh, to have fun, or even if just to be near other people, as pitiful as it may sounds.

And of course he was curious, a trait every human have that is both a gift and a curse. Why would the Sandaime always asked him to stay indoors on this time? It was his birthday. A day that should have been filled with happiness and celebration, not wasted away by being locked down on his small, lonely apartment.

So, why isn't he out there, celebrating with those people outside?

With that question on his mind, he decided to do something he vowed he will never do.

Break a promise to the old man, whom he had considered to be his own grandfather.

Guilt flooded him, but at the same time he did not care. He would go out on the streets, to have fun. And no one can say no or make him do otherwise.

He shoved the blanket off him and carefully stood up, exposing his small body for the world to see. He shivered when his bare feet touched the cold floor. But it doesn't matter, he was used to it, just like he was used to everything else.

The harsh cold outside wind bit down on his skin as he carefully traipsed on the streets, ignoring the cold that seeped through him. He walked near the stalls, with big awed eyes. The sight of all the little trinkets and other trivial things amazed him. He wondered, just like he wondered about everything else, when he will acquire simple things such as that.

He stopped on a brightly colored stall that was filled with crowd, they all look happy. Maybe, maybe he could join in the fun?

He looked around, hoping, hoping that someone will notice him and pay attention to him.

And pay attention, they did. Though, humans, as naïve as they are, can only see what they want to see. They see not a child, begging for attention, begging for only a small affection. No, what they could only see is what they want to see.

"What are you doing here, you bakemono?!" A voice shrieked. She should have been a beautiful woman, with that slender figure clad in a pink kimono, pale soft face, accentuated cheekbones and almond eyes; but her face, her otherwise beautiful face was contorted disgustedly. "And how dare you touch me with your filthy hands?!"

His small hands that had touched the beautiful kimono unnoticed, even by him, was violently slapped away. He cringed in pain, not just the pain on his hand, but the pain on his heart. "I'm sorry" he murmured, almost pitifully.

And just like a ripple effect, his small voice carried throughout the now silent crowd. But the silence is unnerving, suffocating even. He trembled frightfully, when one by one, all of them turned their gazes on him. One by one their gazes held recognition. And one by one their gazes held contempt.

"What are you doing here?" A dangerous voice called out.

"How dare you come here?! This is not a place for you, you brat!" the shrill voice shriek.

He was still standing there, unable to do anything, unable to speak. And like a predator advancing on a prey, they walked closer to him. Forming a circle, with him as the center, and them as the wall. Not to protect but to prevent him from escaping their wrath, to prevent him to escape their revenge.

"Did you come here to see the result of what had you done all those years ago?!" A looming voice asked.

"W-what?"

His answer was a kick on the stomach, and he clutched it in pain.

"I bet you are laughing at us, aren't you, you bakemono??"

_What is he talking about?_

A punch in the gut that made him cough up blood.

"Demon!"

_I don't understand._

A stone thrown in his face, temporarily blinded him.

_Why?_

"You don't deserve to live!"

_Why??_

A slap that stings his scarred cheek, tearing his eyes.

_Why are they doing these??_

A shove that made him stumble on the ground, losing his precarious balance.

_I didn't do anything… I just wanted to see the festival just once. Just this once. Is that so wrong?_

His head was violently slammed on a pavement, creating a wound that bled freely.

_Please save me!!_

Then suddenly, he was wrapped in a tight hug, shielding him from the hateful crowd.

"What do you think you people are doing?" a voice coming from the warmth that enveloped him growled.

The crowd fell silent, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say. For them, fools that they were, every action that they had done, every thought that they have, were justified. They had been grief-stricken because of that monster; surely they could make the monster pay for what they had gone through?

Then, a lone soul stepped forward, contempt clearly shown on his face, spat out "He's a monster! Of course he deserved this!"

Murmurs of agreement flowed out, their courage to speak out their feelings slowly going back. However misplaced their courage was, it's still courage, and that fueled them to face this man, may he be one of the powerful nins there was.

A traitor that's what he was for them. And traitors must be faced, must be eliminated.

The fool advanced threateningly on the nin, but in a blink of an eye he was kneeling on the ground, clutching his body in pain. The crowd looked shocked at the man, why is he defending the monster? Didn't the monster took his loved one too? Why is he doing this?

"Leave. If you don't, I will tell the Sandaime what has happened here and all of you will be punished."

They wanted to protest; they wanted to argue that they were doing nothing wrong, but the killer intent that emanated from the man made them back away. And they had no choice but to obey and grit their teeth in anger, in frustration, and for the foolishness of the Sandaime and that man.

"He's just a child, not a monster. Remember that"

And they all left, leaving the two of them alone, but the parting words that the nin had uttered will be unheeded, won't be recognized, until later. Much, much later.

Then the man took off his mask, revealing mismatched eyes on a handsome face that was half-concealed by a black cloth mask to the small frame that he was still shielding from the outside world.

"Grow strong. Prove your worth to those people. Prove to them that you are worthy of their respect." The man whispered to his ear and released him.

Sniffling slightly but managing to smile, He nodded, silently promising to the man.

Then other ninjas with porcelain masks arrived, they tend to his injuries and brought him to the Sandaime, who was beyond worried about him.

The man was nowhere to be found. Never to be seen again, until years later.

But that face will be forever etched on his mind. The face of his hero.

And the words will be forever remembered to be a constant reminder. His Nindo.

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**3****rd**** Capitulo** (Team 7)

Remembrance.

An action that could cause a varied emotions.

Happiness; to remember all those sweet times.

Loneliness; to remember being alone.

Determination; to prove them all wrong.

And sadness;

Because sometimes, those memories were only precious to you.

--

"Team 4…" the teacher's voice rang through the classroom. Every student was sitting tersely on their seats waiting. Waiting when their name would be called up, because after their name were called, everything will change. They will be formed to be a team, and it would definitely shape their future, maybe not so much, but would surely still had some effect.

Occasional sounds of disappointments and approvals were heard whenever a name were called, showing what they feel about it. The teacher continued, giving only brief glares to shut them up.

"Team 7… Uzumaki Naruto…" his ears perked up, readying and stilling himself to his imminent fate. He had already prepped himself, whoever his teammates may be, he will still do his best, because he had a goal waiting to be fulfilled.

"Haruno Sakura"

He yelled in delight, despite the girl's groans. He didn't care either way; he may hold some affection to the girl with pink hair, with admittedly, had a big forehead and a flat chest. She's quite cute, though she could never hold a candle to his savior.

The man whom all of this for.

"Uchiha Sasuke"

His groans were drowned by the girl's squeals of delight. But whatever he may feel about the team assignment, it had to be put aside. He may had protested loudly, he may had acted irrational. But in truth he really didn't care.

His goals came first, not his teammates. Not even his feelings.

He had to prove himself. He had to.

…

All of the newly graduated gennins have already left together with their respective senseis hours later but his team's sensei still hadn't arrived.

He was angry, he was pissed, doesn't this jounin knew how to be punctual? How could that jounin set a good example, if the jounin himself do a lousy job on following rules? With these things on his mind, he did what he did best, prank the unsuspecting jounin.

"What are you doing Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"This will teach that jounin a lesson not to be late." He quipped.

"Don't be stupid dobe, the jounin will not fall for a trick like that" his raven head teammate, Sasuke, said stoically.

He paid the other no mind and just continued to do what he was doing. When he was finished they waited with baited breath, and the moment they were waiting for came. The classroom door opened slowly and the board eraser fell straight to the figure that emerged from it.

He couldn't stop himself, not even if he wanted to; he clutched his stomach laughing maniacally.

"Hmmm… My first impression of you is…. I hate you." The jounin drawled, in an un-amused voice.

He stopped laughing when he heard that voice.

He knew that voice. Slowly he looked the man, and he was shocked. He was wide-eyed when he saw the man's face. That face, he will never ever forget that face. The face of his savior.

"Meet me at the rooftop in five minutes" and with a poof the man was gone.

Snapping out of his trance, he quickly run to the rooftop; ignoring Sakura's cries to wait for them. He had to confirm it. He had to see if it was really him.

He arrived there panting; he looked around wildly, searching, searching for the jounin's silver hair. He saw him close to the railings and slowly approached him. He was about to say something to the man, then his teammates arrived and he lost his nerve to talk.

The man still looking bored ordered them to introduce themselves. And Sakura, being an inquisitive girl she was, asked for an introduction from their sensei first. Which he answered evasively; in the end of the introduction they know nothing except his name.

Hatake Kakashi.

Now the face of his savior finally got a name. And just a name, nothing else when the jounin's objective was for them to know each other through the introduction. How laughable.

Then it was his turn.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen."

_And my savior._

"I dislike the three minutes waiting for the ramen to be cooked"

_And the hatred from the villagers._

"And my dream is to be a Hokage!"

_Because a Hokage is a sign of strength._

"I will surpass all the previous Hokages!"

_To prove I'm strong. _

_To prove my worth._

"So the villagers will recognize me"

_Just like you said._

_Just like I promise._

_Just like what I aim to do…_

A raised eyebrow was the jounin's only reply, "Hmmm… You, Pinky" the man pointed at Sakura, silently commanding her to introduce herself.

And whatever she said, and Sasuke too, he never heard, because he was too busy looking at the man's face. Memorizing it, and confirming that indeed, his savior, his hero that he had been looking for, was indeed the man that was standing in front of him, slouching at the rooftops railings. It was not a dream. It's a reality, and now he will be his sensei. This moment was a dream come true. There're no other words for it.

After all of their introductions, the jounin told them that they will have a survival training tomorrow, to see if they will be really gennins or they will be sent back on the academy, which shocked them all.

But of course they will pass. They had to.

When the man started walking away, he acted on impulse, catching the man's arm with his hand.

"Anou…. Kakashi-sensei?" the blond called out, hesitantly, almost softly. A complete contrast to his exuberant personality.

The jounin stopped on his tracks, looked at him with blank face, looked at the hand that was holding his arm, and asked "Yes?"

"Anou… I j-just wanted t-to say…" he trailed off, removing the offending hand. He wanted to hit himself, how could he touch the man, his hero, so impulsively like that?

The man tilted his head urging him to continue, brows furrowed, face still blank.

"I-I just ., back then…I… Thank you…" he stuttered out, face flaming, not on embarrassment on thanking the man. No. Never. Because, truth be told, he felt ashamed with himself, for still being this weak after all those years. And unlikely as it seems, he was afraid of the man's reaction.

The man blinked, once, twice; then drawled out "For what?" and without further ado, left, hands on pocket with a nonchalant face.

He stood rooted on the spot. Speechless. Shocked. Unbelieving.

_Why?_

A lone tear escape.

_All these years that I hold that memory dear._

His shoulders shook.

_All those years that I tried to strive to that promise._

His form trembled.

_Why did you not remember me?_

"Oi, dobe, you alright?" his teammate asked apathetically, as if whatever his answer may be he could care less.

_No, I am not, because he doesn't remember me._

He didn't answer. Saying it out loud, will be too much to bear.

Though, if he was honest with himself, he knew this would happen. Why else would he afraid of the man's reaction?

But it still hurts. It fucking hurts too much.

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**4****th**** Capitulo** (Training)

Attention.

To gain it is to feel special.

Attention

To have it is to belong.

Attention.

To obtain is to be recognized.

Attention

It is a sign of acceptance

And to be the center of attention of someone is to feel important.

Specially for those who craved it.

--

Smell of newly cooked ramen filled the nostrils of the people surrounding the famous Ichiraku's. Customers and passer-bys can't help but feel hungry on smelling the wonderful aroma of the noodles and broth.

Of course, he was no exception.

"Another bowl, Oyaji" he ordered, voice muffled with noodles, lifting his empty bowl to be refilled.

"Hey, hey, slow down. You're going to choke the way you're eating." A concerned voice tried to calm him down, he was eating the noodles so fast, it was a wonder he had never choked before. Lots of practice it seems, was the secret behind it.

"But Iruka-sensei, I'm so hungry. That fight with Kiba drained my energy you know, I need to replenish it." He answered, face filled with a proud smile. And eyes triumphant.

Iruka, a chunnin, with a scar running on his nose, just smiled at him, shaking his head on exasperation.

"I've heard about that fight, Naruto. I heard you beat the Inuzuka kid good." The old man, Ichiraku, commented, handing him the now refilled bowl. Smiling at him, face showing pride. "And as a sign of congratulating you, this bowl will be on the house."

"Arigato, Oyaji!" he accepted the ramen happily. Feelings of accomplishment, making him genuinely happy.

He was almost one step closer to his goal.

A step closer to prove his worth.

A step closer on being the Hokage.

"So, How are you going to train Naruto?" The chunnin inquired.

"Huh?" he paused mid-bite; his brows were furrowed showing confusion. Eyes widening in understanding when the man beside him reminded him that he had a month to train for the upcoming fight. "Oh, I'm going to ask Kakashi-sensei to train me!" he chirped happily.

The chunnin became serious all of a sudden, "Did you asked him about it?"

"Uhmm… No?" when he saw the disapproving look at the nin, he hastily added "but I will ask him today."

"Why don't you ask him now? I saw him pass by earlier and I think he was on his way to the training grounds." The old man suggested, wiping the counter.

With that, he hastily gulped the last of his noodles and abruptly stood up and run. He didn't pay attention to the Chunnin calling out for him and continued running heading to the direction of the training grounds.

"Sensei! Sensei!" he shouted when he saw the man, trying to gain the attention of his jounin-sensei. Kakashi as always, was walking with head buried on Icha Icha Paradise, seemingly with no care on the world.

The man stopped, turned and lifted an eye from the book "Yo, Naruto."

He slowed down and tried to catch his breath for a moment. When he got his bearings down he smiled and asked his sensei.

"Sensei, will you train me for my fight with Neji?"

He waited for the man's answer, hoping that the man will say yes. If so, this will be the first time he could train with the jounin. The first time he could get the man's attention without fighting someone else for it.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but I could not train you, I'm going to take Sasuke on a training mission for a month. But, don't worry. I already find you another jounin sensei."

_Sasuke? He's taking Sasuke?_

"But why Sasuke?"

_Why him and not me?_

"I'm sorry, but Sasuke needs me."

_But I need you too._

_Much more than he'll ever need._

_Much more than he'll ever appreciate._

"Can't… can I come? I promise I will be quiet! I… I--" he stopped, faltering. His voice had already cracked and he was afraid that if he continued speaking, he will broke down in front of the jounin. And he doesn't want to cry in front of the other nin. Crying is a sign of weakness, and he don't want to show a weakness to the man, he wanted to show him that he had grown. Had grown stronger just like the man wants. He longed to be with the copy-nin, that's why, that's why he will do anything to get his attention. Even beg. "Please."

The man shook his head, sighing "Meet your jounin sensei tomorrow at Training Ground 11." Then the man was off.

He collapsed on the ground, dejected. Lips trembling, and eyes filling up.

That rejection hurt. More than it should have.

Why should Sasuke get all Kakashi's attention?

Didn't he already prove that he can be strong? He had beaten Kiba, isn't that enough?

He stood up, burning with determination. He will prove that he could be stronger than Sasuke.

So he will not be forgotten.

So he will not be set aside.

So he could get his savior's attention…

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**5****th**** Capitulo** (Sayonara)

Goodbye.

One of the hardest words to be ever invented. One of the hardest words to be uttered.

For those who are going, for those going to be left.

Because, no matter the time, place or situation, it will bring only one thing.

Pain.

--

The sun was just rising, giving an orange hue to the grounds. The village's tranquility was slowly lifted by the people stirring and starting their daily life.

On the gate of Konoha, a group of nins had assembled. They had different ranks and they came from different families and clans. Though, their face held the same expression.

Sadness.

Some of them may show it through subtle ways, a constant frown, a blank face, empty silence and many more; but the way their eyes held a distant look on their faces shows all of them felt the same way. A feeling that they were being left alone.

"Hey what's with the look?" a cheerful voice rang out, startling them from their reverie.

"Naruto." Sakura said, her voice normally loud now held softness and sadness on it.

He sighed, he doesn't want to see her like this, he doesn't want to see any of his friends look like this. He can't stand it, not when he was about to cry himself..

_I don't want to leave them._

Forcing a smile he said in his usual boisterous voice "I am just going on a training mission, not going to my execution. Jeez, lighten up people."

_But I must._

And like magic, his words brought smile in their faces. Genuine ones. Ones that made his crumbling resolve strengthen.

_I have to be strong. Stronger than I am now._

He looked straight at Sakura, his friend, his only teammate that will be left alone; his eyes, for once serious. And a silent message had been given.

_I will get Sasuke back!_

She smiled, getting the message. She gave, a silent "Me, too." And with that their friendship had gotten deeper. Now unbreakable.

Looking around the now calm faces, he noticed one of his precious people was missing. His most precious person, in fact.

_So he's not here._

The thought, however trivial, still make his heart ache. He wanted to see the man, even for the last time before he go. But it seems it will not happen. He sighed again, this time out of despair.

"What's wrong?" the scarred chunnin who was also there to see him off, asked frowning.

"Uhh, nothing." He shook his head, smiling cheerfully, trying to cover the pain that was slowly gnawing on his heart.

"C'mon Naruto, let's go." Jiraiya called out softly. He was talking to the Godaime about some last minute instructions for his gathering information missions and now ready to go.

"Un." He turned to the group and smiled softly "So… I guess, this is goodbye?"

"Yeah, just as long as you remember to come back, brat!" the well-endowed woman, with blond hair in pigtails, replied, an affectionate smile on her face.

"Of course." He said simply. "I have a promise to fulfill after all. And I never broke a promise, you know that!"

Indeed, they know. That's why they will wait for his return. For him to return and fulfill his promise. Knowing that, one by one, on their own ways, they said goodbye. One by one, they said good luck. And one by one they said come back soon.

And so he and Jiraiya left.

Never to return until three years after.

--

When they approach at the border he felt his heart skip, because there, leaning on the tree, seemingly waiting for them was his silver haired sensei.

"Yo"

"S-sensei" he whispered in shock.

"You didn't think that you'll leave for three years and I won't even say goodbye, did you?" the nin asked calmly, hands on his pocket, giving an air of seriousness.

He shook his head, bowing his head, ashamed of himself for even doubting his sensei. How could he think lowly of this man? His hero? When the copy-nin chuckled, his head snapped up and was surprised to see the man smiling at him.

"Grow stronger than now, prove your worth. Prove to all of them that you could fulfill your promise."

He felt himself tremble. Those words, those words… they were almost the same on what he had said that night.

_Does he…?_

He couldn't speak. He couldn't even move a muscle. He was just standing there on the spot, looking at the jounin with wide eyes, filled with hope. His heart was beating erratically, excitedly.

And when the man walked forward towards him and enveloped him on a hug that reminiscent of that protective hug all those years ago.

He let himself tear up.

_He remembered! _

His heart was almost bursting on happiness.

Then, just like all those years ago, sniffling a little, he nods then smiles.

Kakashi took a step back, and with one final smile to him and Jiraiya, who was standing on a polite distance away, he poofed away.

"Brat," Jiraiya, the sannin, called him, signaling him that they had to move on.

He doesn't want to leave.

He doesn't want his sensei to be alone. Especially now. Now that he remembers.

But that look on Kakashi's face, the expectant face that the jounin sent him before he disappeared, gave him the resolve he needed.

He took a step towards Jiraiya.

_Three long years._

And another.

_But it will be worth it._

And another.

_Because you will be waiting for me, ne?_

And soon he was running.

_Sayonara, sensei… I'll see you again._

_And this time I'll fulfill my promise..._

-

-

-

**6****th**** Capitulo** (Okaeri)

Home is where the heart is.

The most clichéd sentence there was.

But, oh so, very true.

--

The night was chilly; with winds blowing that sends shivers to the warm bodies. Sakura petals were flying everywhere, creating a beautiful and peaceful scenery that was perfect on a night just before the dawn. One of the pink petals fell on the still river creating soft ripples of water that disturbed the mirror image of the moon reflected on it.

A lone figure, standing on the rails of the bridge, was enjoying the sight with a peaceful smile on his face. It had been too long since he had seen this. And he had found that he had missed every detail of this place along with the people. Especially his jounin-sensei.

He smiled wistfully in remembrance when he had first seen the man after almost three years. He had not changed it seems, Not one bit. Same mannerisms, same laid-back demeanor, same look, same smile.

He turned around when he felt the object of his thoughts approaching, hands on his pocket, head still buried on the book he had given him as a gift.

"Isn't it too dark to read sensei?" he asked, concernedly.

The man just glanced up at him, smiling and said "Naah…"

He shook his head exasperatedly at the jounin who was now slouching with his back on the bridge railings. He continued looking around again, reliving the precious memories that had happened on the place where he stood. There were too many to remember, and all of them brought a smile to his face.

This was the place where he met his precious people, his teammates and his beloved sensei. This bridge was the place where they planned their next mission. And this was the place where they vowed to be a team and trained to get stronger.

"You've gotten stronger." The other nin said without looking up from his book. It was not a praise. It was a statement, for both of them knew it was the truth.

"I promised, didn't I? And I never break a promise." He replied looking straight at the man. He was not only talking about his promise of getting stronger, both of them knows he was talking about his promise of bringing Sasuke back, his promise of achieving his dream as a Hokage and his promise to prove himself to the others. But what the jounin did not know was there was still one promise that he made, and it involves his heart. And the nin beside him.

"Aa." the jounin closed his book and smile to him which he smiled in return. Kakashi straightened up, and putting the porn on his weapon pouch, walked away waving a hand as a goodbye.

"Tadaima" he whispered softly, as he too walked towards his home and to sleep.

He barely heard the whispered response "Okaeri".

Yes, it was really good to be home.

To be home where the man whom he had sworn to love with all his heart, till one of them lost breath… No, till eternity… resides…

-

-

-

**7****th**** Capitulo** (Mourning)

A teacher and a student.

How fickle fate really is. Connecting all these people to form that bond.

And how cruel fate is. Snapping those bonds.

--

The room was dark, only the rays from the open window serve as the light. Illuminated from the rays was a figure lying on the bed, seemingly dead to the world.

He was pale. He was silent. He was unmoving. Anyone who saw him would never recognize the once cheerful boy that he was. But he couldn't bring himself to be happy. He couldn't pull the energy to be cheerful, and be the ray of sunshine he was for everybody else.

He had been like this for days since they had found out that Jiraiya, the ero-sennin, the super pervert, author of Icha Icha Paradise, his mentor, his godfather, had died. When the news came he cried disbelievingly, achingly. Until they showed him the body. The battle stricken body. And he cried and cried, until he could cry no more. Only then he stopped crying.

And he stopped doing anything else. He stopped doing missions. He stopped training. He stopped going outside. He stopped eating...

In fact, it seems he stopped living.

And the people around him were becoming more and more worried. Iruka always came every night, taking care of him. Coaxing him to eat and trying to cheer him up. Sakura and his friends also come almost everyday, consoling him through their own ways. And the Gondaime, as grief-stricken as she was, still tried to cheer him up on her own ways. Cursing at him, shouting at him to pull himself together and finally telling him that the man had lived a fruitful life and died just like he wanted to be. A hero. So he should not grieve for him. But he still did.

They always came, offering comfort. But none can lift his grieving spirit. None can ease the pain.

Then, there was this man, always sitting on his window night after night. Not saying anything, just sitting there back leaning on the sill, silver hair gleaming from the moonlight, and strands gently waving from the night breeze, always reading with a pensive look that orange book that he knew so much. He always came when Iruka was gone, then on the break of dawn would left quietly, leaving no trace of the visit.

He does it every night. Just like this night.

"Sensei…" he croaked out finally, voice was rough from un-use; gaze fixed on the ceiling, unseeing.

"Hmmm?" the jounin raise his head to peer curiously to him.

"Don't die. Don't ever die."

Silence.

"Are? What are you talking about?" the man asked bewilderedly.

"Just… Don't" then he turned to the other with a pleading look on his face. Eyes that was once a cerulean blue now had tinge of red on it due to crying too much. Though he knew that was not the jounin saw on his eyes, but his message. His pleading message to the man.

_I don't want to lose the most important person in my life._

"Alright. Happy?" the Copy-nin replied in a cheerful voice, but his eye held seriousness on it.

Indeed. As long his sensei was alive, as long as he was there, as long as he knows he was safe… He will be happy.

For now.

-

-

-

**8****th**** Capitulo** (Return)

Happiness.

People had longed for it. Craved for it. And they will do anything to get it.

But sometimes… peoples' idea of happiness varied.

What could sometimes make the others happy, will not be your idea of happiness.

--

Konohagakure was bathe in an orange hue, The houses and buildings on the hidden village were covered by the sun's setting rays. The trees were swaying from the gentle breeze and the leaves fell gently to the ground, making the village a sight to behold.

He was sitting at the top of the Hokage Mountain, face filled with unreadable emotions. He could see the streams of people out on the streets, chattering happily. They all held excited faces, sharing news and gossips that undeniably would cause a great impact on the whole village.

A sound of a twig snapping alerted his attention, but he did not turn around. He already knew who the other is after all. He knew, just like he knew when the other was near by; because his heart always beat erratically when he was around like a damned car alarm.

The other sat on his side without a word. Without so much as a greeting, without even a nod. But somehow, both of them understand, because it was not needed, never will be. Just the presence was enough.

They sat there together, contemplating about the recent events. Sasuke, his errant teammate had finally came back, after defeating his brother and finding the answers to his questions.

After years of training, years of following his trail, and years of pleading for him to come back, to Konoha, to them, he came back on his own. Willingly.

He didn't even talk to the raven yet. He doesn't want to face him. What could he say? That he was ecstatic he was back? That he was glad that he had finally fulfilled his promise to Sakura?

Iruka had told him that he should have been happy, after all, he had done everything that he could do to take him back and now, he's finally here.

Somehow, that isn't right. Because if it is, then why isn't he happy?

That's why he's here, thinking. Thinking what had happened, what's happening, and what will happen now. Sasuke was a large factor on what had happened, but now… Maybe it's time to focus on something else, something that really makes him happy. To finally tell the truth.

The problem is, can he?

When the sun had finally set, and the darkness looms, the silence was broken by a voice.

"You are happy now, aren't you, Naruto? Sasuke had return; you finally got what you wanted." The man asked with a pensive look on his face.

_No,_ he wanted to answer.

_No_, Sasuke's return was not what he wanted.

_No,_ Sasuke's return has nothing to do with his happiness.

But he still answered with his usual smile "Yes. Yes, I am."

Hah. What a lie.

_Coward._

-

-

-

**9****th**** Capitulo** (His Confession)

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Along with goodbye, they are the most painful words to be said to the one you loved and cared about.

But unlike saying goodbye, the pain cannot be healed by returning.

Because unlike goodbye, the pain caused by that word will be forever etched on the mind and on the cracked heart…

--

"Dobe, would you stop pacing?" A raven-head teen snapped irritably "what is wrong with you anyway?"

He did not answer, nor did he stop pacing. They were on a clearing, resting after their weekly friendly spar. And the afternoon sun was already setting giving the illusion of a perfect moment.

He was nervous. His heart was beating erratically, loudly, almost deafening him.

_Tonight,_ he told himself. Tonight will be the night when he will finally come clean. He will tell the masked jounin of his true feelings, whatever the outcome may be, whatever his reaction will be.

Although, he hoped, hoped against hope, that whatever answer his jounin-sensei may be, whatever friendship they had, will not be severed on what he will admit.

He was so deep in thought that he was completely surprised when he was yanked from behind; and even more surprised when a mouth descended on his own. He froze; his mind was unable to process what was happening.

He suddenly got his bearings down after he felt a hand touching him, caressing his body. His body that was reserved only for a man; a man he had sworn to love, and a man that he was sure not this one, who was kissing him fervently, almost pleadingly.

"What do you think you're doing, you bastard??" he shrieked pushing the man away from him. He resisted the urge to wipe his mouth; however he badly wanted to do it.

"I-I love you Naruto." Sasuke admitted, surprisingly stuttering. He looked a little abashed to his admission. But the raven's face held determination, a determination to face whatever outcome may be, just like in a battle.

He was stunned. It can't be. He was supposed to be his teammate, his best friend.

"I… I'm sorry, I… I can't" he whispered softly, hating the rejection, disappointment and hurt that flashed on those onyx orbs.

"Why?" his teammate asked, demanding to know why.

"I… I just can't" he couldn't tell him the truth. He didn't want to hurt him more.

"Sou ka." The Uchiha said simply, impassively, regaining his cool demeanor. No traces of hurt on his face, nor his voice. And the raven left without another word. Without turning back.

He bit his lip in anguish, and uttered the words he can't say in front of his best friend.

_Gomen, Sasuke… But I'm in love with someone else._

-

-

-

**10****th**** Capitulo** (My Confession)

Love makes the world go round.

Or what else they say about it nowadays.

But it's true isn't it? Love is one of those things that made humans want to continue fighting, to continue to struggle forward. As mushy as it may sounds, it is the only thing worth living for.

Or is it?

--

Moonlight was the only light that he had to see the path where he was going. But even without it, he could still walk this path without difficulty. The path towards the house of his sensei. The path towards his beloved.

All the streets are empty, except for the occasional bursts of chakra that signals the nins that were on patrol. It was silent, broken only by the rustling of the leaves. He arrived on the door to the man's apartment and prepared to knock.

Then he heard it.

"I love you, Kakashi"

The words that he longed to say. Words that he wanted to convey.

The problem is, it came from the wrong mouth. It came from the wrong person.

And worse… it came from someone he knew.

Someone that he could not believe will take away his happiness.

It hurts. It hurts so much. Knowing that his beloved sensei. His hero, was taken from his grasp, without even trying, without even knowing.

Was it karma? Must he feel the way Sasuke felt when he rejected him?

If so, why? He had already lost his loved ones early on, didn't he? He had already suffered enough, right? Wasn't it enough? Must he feel this way?

He gritted his teeth, to prevent from crying out, to prevent Iruka to wrap his hands from Kakashi. To stop himself from wrenching the chunnin's on the man.

He stood rooted to the spot. Tears flowing freely on his cheeks.

"Let's go, Naruto. Let's leave them alone."

He let himself be tugged away, his body had gone numbed and his heart had stilled in his chest. He never even questioned why Sasuke, his teammate was there. It didn't even register in his mind when he was carried home, laid on the bed; with the other teen staying beside him, calm as ever, offering a silent comfort. He was too busy replaying what he had witnessed over and over on his head. He doesn't want to believe it. No he won't.

He can't, because it hurts.

Was this what he was supposed to feel for loving someone?

_I thought love was supposed to make me happy. People even says that it made the world go round._

He snorted on his thought. Half laughingly, half sobbingly.

_Right._ Love really does make the world go round.

But sometimes…

It also makes the world stop.

And never spin the right way again.

-

-

-

**11****th**** Capitulo** (Rokudaime)

Achievement.

Humans, to have a direction on their life, formed a dream early on their lives. And as hard as the path is, even if they failed and fell on the way, and as painful it is to continue, they always struggle to achieve their goal.

And when they reach that dream, that dream that seems had forever eluded them.

They will finally feel what they have longed to have--

Fulfillment…

But why did it feel so empty?

--

Thunderous cheers came from the crowd. Deafening shouts filled the grounds as they chanted the name of their new Hokage, the Rokudaime. The one, who had been scorned, hated, rejected from birth; had finally shown them that he was, indeed, worthy. He had arisen from being a nobody to a person worthy of respect and adoration.

It doesn't matter that it was really his birth right, that it was indeed his destiny right from the start. What matters most is that he had traveled the hardest path, and he had emerged, successfully.

As he waved to the crowd below; to all the villagers whom he had sworn to protect. To all his friends who had supported him along the way, He felt his heart soar.

_But, something was wrong…_

He was excited.

_It seems something was missing from all of this…_

Ha had proven himself and now, He's recognized.

_What?_

His dream, his promise, had finally been fulfilled.

_What is it?_

This was the day that he finally showed to his savior, his hero, that he is strong. That finally, he is not his student anymore. They were, more or less, equal now.

_What is missing?_

Then Kakashi bowed low to him murmuring "Rokudaime-sama". He felt his heart constricting, and his smile almost slipped off his face. Somehow, when he told the man to stand-up, that proud smile that the jounin wore only made him almost laughed aloud. To laugh self-depreciatingly. No wonder he didn't feel completely happy.

No wonder he felt something is missing.

All this time he thought he was trying to prove his worth to the villagers, trying to make them see who he really was, not what he was and trying to get their recognition, when in fact, he only need a recognition from one man. The only person he wanted to prove his worth.

And it seems it's for naught.

He felt that all he had done was for nil.

All his hardships, all the years he had strived, all of it were for nothing.

Because when Iruka hugged him and congratulated him, he saw that same proud smile.

A smile that now he hated with a passion. It even made his hatred with the Sandaime's smile when he was young and was asking a question about the village hatred to him, pale in comparison.

Because it was smile reserved for a brilliant student... from a teacher.

And it reminded Naruto, that he was just a student for him.

He could never be an equal.

No matter what he hoped.

No matter what he feels.

No matter what he had achieved.

-

-

-

**12****th**** Capitulo** (Marriage)

An actor.

Everyone was born to be one, although few had the capacity to be a good one. Even fewer are those who act to hide their own emotions, not because they wanted to protect themselves but to protect others.

A noble idea.

But was it really what it was supposed to be?

--

He, as loud and annoying as he was as a child, had never really given thought that he could be a good actor. But he was.

And this was the proof.

Dressed in his Rokudaime clothes and Hokage hat, was standing in the middle of a gathering filled with people, civilians and nins alike, on the rooftop overlooking the Hokage Mountains. And in front of him, were two familiar people, staring at him. Holding hands and dressed on formal yukatas, with their sickeningly beaming smile.

"Do you Umino Iruka, accepts Hatake Kakashi, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do you part?"

He wanted to choke at his words. To take them back as they come out. To cry and to beg, however pitifully it may sounds, to beg Iruka to say no.

But Iruka said yes. And he hated him for it. He hated him for taking Kakashi away from him. Hated him for taking his last shred of hope that he had buried deep within his heart; a hope that his sensei will finally see him as an equal, a potential lover, rather than a former annoying student.

And finally, he hated him because he could not bring himself to really hate him.

Because he can not fault him for falling in love with Kakashi. How could he? When even he, the renowned Rokudaime, had fallen in love to the wonderful man as well?

Iruka, however kind he is, is only a human after all. Just like everyone else. Just like him.

"Do you Hatake Kakashi, accept Umino Iruka, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do you part?"

When the man said "Yes, I Do" he was not really surprised, he just gave the jounin a beaming smile, gritting his teeth on the inside. Bearing the pain on his heart, swallowing the pain on his gut.

And as he pronounced them a newly-wed, a lone tear escapes from his eyes, unbidden, unheeded.

Everybody thinks it's because he was happy, that he was happy that two of his beloved teachers are finally together.

Oh, how he fooled them all.

Now, if he could only fool himself …

…

At the reception, where everybody was having fun and congratulating the newly weds, tossing them cheers and giving them toasts for happiness, he stilled his resolve and finally said the damning words.

"Kakashi-sensei, take care of Iruka-sensei. Don't ever hurt him."

Funny, because when the man smiled and said he'll protect his teacher, he had fooled even himself for the moment.

He fooled himself that he cared for Iruka's well-being, when in fact he didn't

He couldn't.

Not when his heart felt like dying.

-

-

-

**13****th**** Capitulo** (Death Day)

The End.

Just like everything else that has a beginning, everything also has an end. Nothing is permanent. Everything comes and goes. It is how it was supposed to be. An endless cycle, revolving around us; creating a domino effect that was sure to affect everybody. From beginning till the end.

But the question is…

How did it end?

--

Small drops of water pelted on the damp ground. Black clouds that obscured the sun brought down the rain that soaked everyone. The sky was dark matching the solemnity of the situation.

The mood was somber.

A small gathering was formed, circling a grave that held the names of the nins that died fighting in a mission. The names of those who had died as a hero, for they died fighting for their village, for their loved ones.

Every face showed pain and grief in some way or another.

They lost someone on an S-class mission.

If only that someone is just a nameless nin, a man that could easily be forgotten in a day or so. Or even month. But no, the nin was an important face on the ninja world.

The nin was the esteemed Copy-Ninja Kakashi.

Son of the Legendary White Fang.

The Beloved Student of the Yondaime.

One of the best ninja the Konoha had produced.

A Tokubetsu Jounin.

The Hokage's loyal ANBU guard.

And the Rokudaime's former jounin-sensei.

But he did not give a damn about those titles for the jounin; because for him, the name Kakashi had a different meaning.

His savior.

His hero.

His sensei.

His love.

His life.

His **everything.**

But no matter how much he wants, he can't cry freely. He can't express the grief he felt for losing his everything. He wanted to shout, wanted to tell the whole world the extent of the grief on his being. He wanted to wreck that damnable grave; the flowers; that picture that did no justice to the man it represent; to ruin everything that showed death. But he can't.

He wanted to shake everyone, to tell them that they are mistaken, Kakashi, his beloved sensei, was not dead. He will not die just like that. He promised him, didn't he? He promised him that he will not die, so why??

…

Sasuke.

Sasuke, the man who was the reason why all of this was happening.

Because Kakashi died protecting him. Shielding him from the attack of the enemy. Kakashi gave up his life for Sasuke to live.

He wanted to shout at Sasuke, tell him how worthless his life was compared to the man that had died saving him. Oh, how he wanted to just go and kill the raven, to try and exchange his life for their sensei. But as stupid as he was, he knew it will be futile. The jounin was already dead.

Dead and buried. No matter how he wished otherwise.

And somehow, he wanted to blame himself, because he felt that what happened was his fault. All his fault.

If he had never tried to take back Sasuke from all of those years ago.

If he didn't send the man on the mission.

If he didn't send Sasuke with him.

If he didn't love Kakashi too much.

Maybe, just maybe, the man will still be alive today. Standing nonchalantly. And with him.

But no matter what he wanted to do, he can't act on it. Anything of it. He can't express his grief in losing the jounin the way he expressed his feelings when he lost Jiraiya. He can't grieve, because he had a reputation to uphold. He can't show a weakness because he was the Rokudaime, the pillar of strength of Konoha. Hah. Sometimes being a Hokage was a curse.

And finally he can't grieve; because in the end, he doesn't have a right.

Iruka does; he was the widowed, the one who had lost his husband through a tragic death. And everyone comforts Iruka for his loss.

And him? Whatever he may felt, he was just the Hokage who lost one of his best ninjas. He was just a student who lost his former sensei. He was a mere bystander, who could only offer condolence to the person who has the right to grieve.

So they left him alone. Just like how they left Sakura and Sasuke alone, only to give the three of them pity looks. Pity, that they had lost their once-sensei. They never offered a condolence for his dead heart. Not once.

And they were so busy consoling the crying Iruka, that they hadn't noticed the tears that can not be put on hold anymore as they wrote his name on the grave, and the sobs that shook his shoulders uncontrollably. Blinded as they were, they didn't saw that when Naruto put a white rose on his teacher's grave, he was not saying goodbye to his former sensei.

He was saying goodbye to his love that will be buried with the man. The love that never had been. And the love that never will be.

**--------------------------------Owari-----------------------------------**

**Note: **You might be wondering why he tells him that he doesn't have a right to grieve Kakashi the way he had grieve for Jiraiya. Please remember that Jiraiya is his godfather, his father-figure even, so he HAVE a right, along with Tsunade who was Jiraiya's teammate and friend. Kakashi meanwhile had a HUSBAND. And if you have other objections read the 13th Capitulo again I tried to explain it there the best way I can and I don't like repeating myself. So don't go flaming me about it.

**Like it? I think this is my greatest work yet. And I'm very very proud of this. **

**This is the first installment of my MIRROR STORIES. **

**The next one will be 2****nd**** MiRROR STORY: ---KAKASHI--- (My STUDENT)**

**The others are: **

**3****rd**** MiRROR STORY: ---SASUKE--- (My TEACHER, My TEAMMATE)**

**4****th**** MiRROR STORY: ---IRUKA--- (My LOVER, My STUDENT)**

**5****Th**** MiRROR STORY: ---OMAKE--- (FATE and LOVE)**

**All of them are one-shots, all of them are written in the drafts though, I will post it if you like, k?**

**And for all those wondering, all of my fics are ON HIATUS, except DEATH WISH and DATE 102 (Chap 3 will be posted, I swear!) so don't kill me just yet!**

**Leave reviews minna! Ja ne!**


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